It's just a lot.

It's July's last fuck you. My nose hurts. The cold sore seems to be REALLY up in there so you know, at least it's not visible. I just feel like I have a constant booger in there. Or like I need to blow my nose. 

Since I had the stupid expensive abreva, I just used it this morning. And I have lysine tablets that I picked up from Winco. So maybe it'll be over before I know it? 

Stress! 😫

I told someone in an email today that they should probably tell my boss when I asked them for May credit card receipts. 

They wrote back that of course it doesn't matter. If my boss fires me then he has to do my job. 

It might be funny if it weren't painfully true. 

So I guess it's unlimited O/T until I get caught up. 

The feeling of burn out is immense. I know more people work more hours than me and more often but I'm not cut out for this shit. I've been groomed in a company that always smacked your hand for O/T and now I'm being told whatever I want until I'm caught up. How much time can one spend in an office without going insane? 

What if I still can't get it done? 

Fuck July. Good riddance. Even if it means closer to audit. I can't even focus on how much I kick ass because all I can think of is how many things aren't done. But the bills get paid. I cut those checks every week. The bills get entered, quite a few by myself. Fires get put out. But the leftover? 

Now that everything is becoming a fire for year end? Which fires do I choose? What can I explain in a reasonable amount of time that I could potentially give to the new girl? They didn't even train her on how to do invoices all the way while I was gone. 

It's probably largely because of my cold sore and my swollen neck gland but I'm feeling pretty hopeless right now.