"Gotta get through this, I gotta get through this."
Grandpa’s birthday was St. Patrick’s Day. That’s how I remembered it so easily in a month filled with familial birthdays. My step father’s birthday was the 13th. I hate remembering that. But I do.
This last weekend went by pretty uneventfully. Had myself a full on tantrum Friday night, even posted on twitter and sent messages directly to Ben ranting. Did I have a good reason? No, not really. It centered around food and I’d had too much to drink to be reasonable so instead I was an asshole. Woke up in the morning, feeling mortified at how angry I’d become. That’s me for you…throw food into the mix and if it’s not what I wanted I will either pout or rant. I need to stock up on snacks specifically for me I guess. So…I did something I’m not proud of. Ben was still sleeping, I saw that the messages I had sent didn’t say “read” so I deleted them from his iPod. Ha! He’d already read them but had chosen not to respond which was probably a good idea…of course later he was like…did you delete them from your ipod? Cause they are gone off mine and I went with it. I didn’t really want to be like…no, I took your iPod and deleted them. Kind of an invasion of privacy, though I wasn’t looking at anything but what I’d sent. Usually I don’t lie to Ben. It seems pointless. I will either tell him anyway eventually and laugh, or just tell him up front. I’m an adult, I don’t like lying anymore. I lied for so long to my mother to avoid being in trouble…it just seems stupid now.
I don’t know…I was frustrated. It never ends well when Ben gets more drunk than I. I like having a babysitter I guess. Than I can ask for food and not have to drunk kitchen it. Some Fridays he gets saved by Jenni, cause she will help me drunk kitchen and then he doesn’t have to cook.
Used to be he wouldn’t be home so I would make sure I accommodated myself for food. But he has lost that yen for magic I guess. I understand, last time I went out since he went to magic, I got word that he was home and suddenly I really wanted to be home. I suppose it’s a good sign that I want to be around him. So it’s nice to have him feel the same. But I kind of miss horror movies and girl time. Plus now I can’t bank on being free Friday night. Oh well…be careful what you wish for? Haha. I suppose I’ll just have to deal with it.
Speaking of being careful what you wish for…I used to wish that he didn’t sleep until 12 or later…so I finally kind of acclimate to it and now that I’m working 8-5 most days (hurray) he has to get up and send the kid off to school. He griped a bit and then I told him I had no sympathy at all considering any day he had to get up, I had to get up even earlier. Then he stopped the griping. But now he’s used to waking up earlier and has even complained about my tendency to try sleeping in. On the other side of it, he goes to bed earlier and if I don’t fall deep enough asleep in time, his snoring wakes me up and pisses me off.
Oh the life of an unmarried long term couple. 11 years now!
So…oh yeah. Friday. Tantrum night. Saturday – mortification and then he spent so much time trying to put a movie on a DVD that I was like….really…why am I even at home? But at least half jokingly. =) Then Kymber got home and since it was St. Patrick’s day and we weren’t going to sleep yet we got to hang out a bit. Oh and Friday before tantrum we played a game with Jenni and Kymber and their boys and that was cool too. So I guess it wasn’t a bad weekend, though I was sad to think of Grandpa. =(
We even went for free fries and green ketchup. And blizzards. We walked everywhere and today my feet hurt, but it was good for us.
Sunday we did brunch at a new place. Kind of on the spendier side when you take into account adding the hash browns that Ben wanted, but good food. I would do it again, but maybe when we don’t have so little money. Tax returns are sadly coming to an end and I have yet to get a tattoo and at some point I need to downsize the jewelry in my tragus piercings…so of course that’s already weighing on my mind. Why wouldn’t it be? Especially considering we haven’t paid anything on the iPods because I am an asshole who kept putting it off and now I like having that little bit of cushion for things like breakfast randomly. Let’s see…what did I buy? Food. Piercings. Didn’t even buy that haircut. I did enjoy my few months of not worrying about cash. Oh well, easy come, easy go?
That’s where I’m at lately. Life is going pretty darn well with the exception of my tantrums…maybe I’m just finally learning how to say when things bother me and maybe someday I’ll learn how to do it nicely instead of in child form. Maybe. No promises.
This last weekend went by pretty uneventfully. Had myself a full on tantrum Friday night, even posted on twitter and sent messages directly to Ben ranting. Did I have a good reason? No, not really. It centered around food and I’d had too much to drink to be reasonable so instead I was an asshole. Woke up in the morning, feeling mortified at how angry I’d become. That’s me for you…throw food into the mix and if it’s not what I wanted I will either pout or rant. I need to stock up on snacks specifically for me I guess. So…I did something I’m not proud of. Ben was still sleeping, I saw that the messages I had sent didn’t say “read” so I deleted them from his iPod. Ha! He’d already read them but had chosen not to respond which was probably a good idea…of course later he was like…did you delete them from your ipod? Cause they are gone off mine and I went with it. I didn’t really want to be like…no, I took your iPod and deleted them. Kind of an invasion of privacy, though I wasn’t looking at anything but what I’d sent. Usually I don’t lie to Ben. It seems pointless. I will either tell him anyway eventually and laugh, or just tell him up front. I’m an adult, I don’t like lying anymore. I lied for so long to my mother to avoid being in trouble…it just seems stupid now.
I don’t know…I was frustrated. It never ends well when Ben gets more drunk than I. I like having a babysitter I guess. Than I can ask for food and not have to drunk kitchen it. Some Fridays he gets saved by Jenni, cause she will help me drunk kitchen and then he doesn’t have to cook.
Used to be he wouldn’t be home so I would make sure I accommodated myself for food. But he has lost that yen for magic I guess. I understand, last time I went out since he went to magic, I got word that he was home and suddenly I really wanted to be home. I suppose it’s a good sign that I want to be around him. So it’s nice to have him feel the same. But I kind of miss horror movies and girl time. Plus now I can’t bank on being free Friday night. Oh well…be careful what you wish for? Haha. I suppose I’ll just have to deal with it.
Speaking of being careful what you wish for…I used to wish that he didn’t sleep until 12 or later…so I finally kind of acclimate to it and now that I’m working 8-5 most days (hurray) he has to get up and send the kid off to school. He griped a bit and then I told him I had no sympathy at all considering any day he had to get up, I had to get up even earlier. Then he stopped the griping. But now he’s used to waking up earlier and has even complained about my tendency to try sleeping in. On the other side of it, he goes to bed earlier and if I don’t fall deep enough asleep in time, his snoring wakes me up and pisses me off.
Oh the life of an unmarried long term couple. 11 years now!
So…oh yeah. Friday. Tantrum night. Saturday – mortification and then he spent so much time trying to put a movie on a DVD that I was like….really…why am I even at home? But at least half jokingly. =) Then Kymber got home and since it was St. Patrick’s day and we weren’t going to sleep yet we got to hang out a bit. Oh and Friday before tantrum we played a game with Jenni and Kymber and their boys and that was cool too. So I guess it wasn’t a bad weekend, though I was sad to think of Grandpa. =(
We even went for free fries and green ketchup. And blizzards. We walked everywhere and today my feet hurt, but it was good for us.
Sunday we did brunch at a new place. Kind of on the spendier side when you take into account adding the hash browns that Ben wanted, but good food. I would do it again, but maybe when we don’t have so little money. Tax returns are sadly coming to an end and I have yet to get a tattoo and at some point I need to downsize the jewelry in my tragus piercings…so of course that’s already weighing on my mind. Why wouldn’t it be? Especially considering we haven’t paid anything on the iPods because I am an asshole who kept putting it off and now I like having that little bit of cushion for things like breakfast randomly. Let’s see…what did I buy? Food. Piercings. Didn’t even buy that haircut. I did enjoy my few months of not worrying about cash. Oh well, easy come, easy go?
That’s where I’m at lately. Life is going pretty darn well with the exception of my tantrums…maybe I’m just finally learning how to say when things bother me and maybe someday I’ll learn how to do it nicely instead of in child form. Maybe. No promises.
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